thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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