Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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