Well apparently he's into motor boating.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
