Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize