"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
