I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What a dumb baby whore.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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