Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
