Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
