Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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