hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
