I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
