he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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