just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize