You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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