Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
