Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
