i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
