normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
