you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
