You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
