Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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