He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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