I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
