Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
