Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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