all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
