my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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