I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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