So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
