if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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