i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
