We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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