I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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