they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
