i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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