I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
