How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
