Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
