I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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