After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize