She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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