What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
