I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
