Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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