Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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