we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize