god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
