i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
