I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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