Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
