Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
