i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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