Banned from zoo.
Again?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We need to get me chipped asap
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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