Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
