areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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