I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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