just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
