i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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