I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.