it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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