It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
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Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
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Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
COCAINE IS GR8