I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years