wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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