even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
