I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
