You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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