Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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