My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
