i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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