And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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