you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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